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From Us and Them to insight, honesty and trust

owepettersson
3 days ago
4 min read

Why do we so often mistake our assumptions about other people for an understanding of who they really are? From the human brain’s tendency to categorise to the challenges facing leadership teams, this article explores how insight can replace assumptions and help build honesty, credibility and trust.


Dehumanisation lies behind some of history’s darkest chapters. The human brain is not simply to blame, but its automatic tendency to divide the world into “us” and “them” helps explain how such divisions can begin.


From early in life, we learn to distinguish between groups, often without being aware of it. This is not dehumanisation in itself. But when categorisation turns into assumptions, and those assumptions prevent us from seeing the individuality and humanity of others, we have a much bigger problem.


Research into the human brain and social cognition gives us tools to recognise these patterns, question our assumptions and understand when unconscious reactions begin to shape how we see and treat other people.


Insight, honesty, credibility




Credibility builds on honesty, and honesty builds on insight into ourselves, others and the world around us. The connection is striking. Our reflexes shape our assumptions, but assumptions are not insight.


Without insight, we may believe we are being honest when we are simply convinced that we are right. We can become our own advocates, constructing explanations that justify what we already believe while overlooking the assumptions on which those beliefs rest.


Anders Hansen has helped make brain research accessible to a broad audience, bringing together findings from neuroscience and related fields to explain how the brain influences the way we think, feel and behave. His work offers a valuable perspective on why we do not always see ourselves, other people or the world as clearly as we might believe we do.


Insight requires us to pause, remain curious and consider perspectives beyond our own. It means being willing to question our first interpretation rather than immediately defending it.

That is where honesty becomes possible, and where credibility can grow over time.


Us and them around the table


The same mechanism shows up, far more quietly, in our workplaces. It also appears in leadership teams. No one can read another person’s mind. When we do not know what a colleague really thinks, we fill the gap with assumptions. And those assumptions are not always generous.


Differences in perspective can gradually become divisions: “us” in sales and “them” in finance, “us” who want to move forward and “them” who hold things back. Each group may have perfectly reasonable explanations for its own position. Sales may see an urgent need to seize an opportunity, while finance sees risks that must be managed. Both may believe they are acting in the organisation’s best interests, yet each may interpret the other’s behaviour through a narrow set of assumptions.


Often, the difference is not about values at all. It may be about invisible differences in how people understand the brand, the strategy and the direction of the organisation. Each person interprets the situation through their own experience, priorities and assumptions, often believing that their own perspective is the obvious one.


When a team can see those differences clearly, assumptions can turn into insight. Insight makes honest conversations possible. And honest conversations help build a leadership team, and a brand, that others can trust. That is the idea behind BrandIQ®: giving leadership teams a shared picture of where they are aligned and where they differ, so that assumptions can be questioned and insight can replace them.


The purpose is not to decide who is right or wrong. It is to make the invisible visible, creating a common reference point from which people can better understand themselves, one another and the organisation they are building together.


A shared reference point does not automatically resolve differences. It makes them easier to explore openly, giving a team a better starting point for understanding the gap between its current reality and its desired direction.


Seeing the obvious


None of this is new. Research into social categorisation, group identity and dehumanisation has helped us understand how people distinguish between groups and how those distinctions can influence our perceptions and behaviour. Yet knowing about these mechanisms does not mean we automatically recognise them in ourselves.


That is what Seeking the Obvious is about: the obvious is often the hardest thing to see, especially when it challenges what we already believe. And the obvious here is simple. Societies, organisations and markets are made of people, not categories. And people are part of a living planet, not separate from it.


The Earth Charter expresses this wider perspective through its vision of “one human family and one Earth community with a common destiny”. This understanding also underpins Seeking the Obvious, together with the principles of the UN Global Compact.


The challenge is to move beyond the boundaries we unconsciously create, without pretending that our differences do not exist. We do not have to agree with everyone, abandon our judgement or ignore genuine risks. But we can learn to distinguish between what we know, what we assume and what we have yet to understand.


This matters far beyond the workplace. The same willingness to question our assumptions can influence how we approach social divisions, competing interests and our relationship with the natural world.


Every time we move from reflex to reflection, we create an opportunity to see the person behind the category. It is a small but meaningful step towards insight, honesty and trust.


The next time you catch yourself thinking “them”, ask yourself one question:

Do I see a person, or merely a category?

“Them” can begin as a reflex. Expanding “us” is a choice.


The more we recognise our own assumptions, the greater our capacity to see beyond them — towards other people and the living world we all belong to.


That is where insight begins. And where trust becomes possible.


Sources and further reading


 
 
 

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